June 17th, 2018
"Father Time is the mother of all action figures:
"Becoming a house husband can be a close second but not if you don't let it --
"New to the job? Let it be known that if, uh, invited to a Tupperware Party you'll be wearin a hardhat and kilts. Real Scotsmen don't wear underwear under their kilts. If a real tough mother does invite you over she won't let you sit down anywhere or at least not on a white or light colored couch. My husband, uh, waited fifteen years for a Tupperware Party invitation. Guess what? You're right. He never got one. So, once you got that out of the way you can call yourself anything you want because this is America. One of the things he calls himself is: writer.
"Here's some other job descriptions you can use:
"If you're changin diapers: Waste Disposal Engineer. Ever write a check?: Property Manager. Brush the dog: Dog Groomer. Make toast: Electronics Engineer. Change the oil in your twenty-year-old car: Auto Mechanic. A week late on your taxes: Tax Resister. See where I'm going with this.
"You're not just a househusband, you're Captain of the Bridge, the fate of all civilization is in your hands. Really. You're helpin to raise a child or children that may never start a war, that might cure cancer, or, uh, become president, or someone that will be happy, know love, and live a full life.
"So, when you're in your Soccer Dad Car and you see a beautiful woman speed by on a Harley; you might forget about your plethora of job titles now and again -- you're only human -- but never forget that a father by any other name is still a father by any other name.
"Happy Father's Day:
"Pat, Dick, Jack, Billy, Jim, Steven, Jackie, Bret, Larry, Mathew, Bob, Merrill, Eric, Dean, and in memory of: Lloyd, Gary, Orlin, Dick G., Ralph, Bill, and Bernard."
Please give to the Sacramento SPCA: 6201 Florin Perkins Road/ Sacramento, California, 95828/ 916-383-7387 and:
The Pennsylvania SPCA/ 350 East Erie Avenue/ Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, 19134/ 215-426-6300
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A carbuncle is a roiled mass of skin or a beautiful gem. The incredible gem is pictured in the logo below and at the bottom of the short story section...
Kevin O'Kendley is the owner of Carbuncle Moon, and the author of all original material -- cartoons, blogs, shorts, essays, articles -- on the website (there has been a very limited editorial input in some of my work). All quoted sources are noted. I am responsible for all posts. The only blogs not time-dated are those advertising nonprofits. All nonprofits are vetted, investigated, though after the summer of 2018 my vetting has lapsed: (6/1/21).
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