You’re in Monaco, you just finished a bottle of Dom Perignon, and so have whetted your appetite. From your balcony table you look out over the Principality, the Mediterranean, and the myriad of yachts, and think what now? Vat now? Then it hits you: voila: you order “Designer Maine Lobster by Captain Christopher” -- and so you rescue yourself from the approaching doldrums, impress the Maître'd, and you and your guests from the House of Windsor are rewarded with that Lobster by Captain Christopher Coppock. The following could have happened but -- you know -- possibly might not have: Free diving at 150 feet Captain Christopher attacked and subdued the above pictured lobster with a choke hold. Within ten, maybe twelve minutes, the brute tapped out (not the Captain but the lobster). Called the Lobster Whisperer by some unstable but interesting characters (and this writer) the Captain then, over a period of several years, “rigorously trained” the giant lobster to behave. Frederick Nietzsche (the lobster) learned the hard way to channel his hostility into a comprehensive societal pleasing form. So, now “Fred” is a watch lobster. God help the uninvited guest that climbs aboard Captain Christopher’s Yacht after nightfall looking for a beer (I lost two fingers). Give to the Bangor Area Homeless Shelter, 263 Main St., Bangor, ME, 04401 207-947-0092
4 Comments
Larry Lemon Butterman
7/30/2013 08:51:55 am
WOW !! What a Sea monster, I would liker to order 13 Doz to be shipped to N.Y. via Italy.I'm Leaving London as I type.. to pick them up....Thanks !
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Larry Lemon Butterman
7/30/2013 08:53:52 am
The Capt. is not bad looking !!!?
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Susie Pattycake
7/30/2013 08:58:59 am
That's the biggest lobster I've ever seen!!....and it looks like it's a hard lobster to.....( all over I hope.)..... I've just recently divorced my husband...( he is a Baker ) ...and I'd like to hook up with that good-looking lobster fishermen !! could you please send me his phone number.... thanks!
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Ed Norton
7/30/2013 10:08:03 pm
Hey what the .....I though this was the "Honeymooners" website
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Kevin O'Kendley is the owner of Carbuncle Moon, and the author of all original material -- cartoons, blogs, shorts, essays, articles -- on the website (there has been a very limited editorial input in some of my work). All quoted sources are noted. I am responsible for all posts. The only blogs not time-dated are those advertising nonprofits. All nonprofits are vetted, investigated, though after the summer of 2018 my vetting has lapsed: (6/1/21).
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