April 04th, 2019

“I’m impressed by the Homeric environmentalist baiters who spend many, uh, hours in camouflaged tree forts in Golden Gate Park struggling to overcome the odds, fighting Mother Nature and the cold and the urge to quit, just to bait, stalk and terrorize an environmentalist -- baiting with environmentalist and pornographic literature.  It takes a lot of self-discipline and even more beer to be a Herculean environmentalist baiter.  But, thank God there are still some rugged baiters left because at the, ah, uh, er, end of the summer I found a ton of discarded Hustler and Penthouse magazines underneath the camouflaged tree forts in Golden Gate Park, and near Louis' Restaurant out at Seal Rocks.  In the last year I’ve salvaged at least a dozen dirty magazines.  Though, it’s true Congressman McCarthy was upset with me and asked me to remove all of the articles before I kept the magazines.  Suddenly, uh, it’s tough for me to talk -- I’m overwhelmed with emotion -- uh, someday, I want to be a Master Baiter just like my father was."                  - caption changed on 12/18/19 (copyrighted 2019)

edited 3/7/26

​

Please give to the Shriner's Hospitals: 3551 North Broad Street/ Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19140/ 215-430-4000/ and:   
2425 Stockton Boulevard/ Sacramento, California 95817/ 916-453-2000
​