The Birth of Her Caitness:
"I remember when my wife, Glucinda, an aquarium blacksmith (does miniature spiral staircases, anchors, octopi with pith helmets), told me that we were going to have our first child. Though the baby yet born was already real to her I had to go out to the pumpkin patch to see the future, and to wonder. I took a six pack. Though I searched my memory for the lessons learned in my 8th grade science class -- for the life of me -- I just couldn’t remember how to ascertain which pumpkin was carrying the child.
"I tried nine pumpkins: 'Knock knock,' I’d say and thump a pumpkin with my knuckles but there was no reply. Well, maybe the kid wasn’t going to grow up to be a rocket scientist. I shrugged and downed a beer. What the hell, I had the full term of pregnancy to understand the mystery of childbirth, and if I remembered right that was about 14 months.
"In the first months of the hymester things were uneventful. The pumpkins grew; one plumpster more than the others. Coincidentally, it was at this time that my wife inexplicably gained a lot of weight, too. Nearing the nine-month mark she seemed as if she was carrying Paul Bunyan’s bowling ball in her lower abdomen but I didn’t say anything rude and quite naturally I stayed away from using any kind of humongous ball like a beach ball, a basketball, or a medicine ball in a compound sentence. Glucinda got so big that she had to buy all kinds of new clothes which her sister told me were called: 'Maternity-clothes-you-moron.'” - from the Birth of Her Caitness, a short story by Kevin O'Kendley (in the short story section of this blog: Carbuncle Moon).
Please give to UNICEF/ U.S. Fund, Children First: 125 Maiden Lane/ New York, New York 10038/ 800-367-5437
A carbuncle is a roiled mass of skin or a beautiful gem. The incredible gem is pictured in the logo below and at the bottom of the short story section...
Kevin O'Kendley is the owner of Carbuncle Moon, and the author of all original material -- cartoons, blogs, shorts, essays, articles -- on the website (there has been a very limited editorial input in some of my work). Quoted sources are noted. I am responsible for all posts.
Kevin O'Kendley: P.O. Box 172, Winterport, Maine, 04496, and 200 P Street, A-32, Sacramento, California, 95814, firstname.lastname@example.org.
Technical help is provided by an evolving computer genius, my son, Conor O'Kendley: A good kid with a great heart who can be reached at P.O. Box 172, Winterport, Maine, 04496. (Conor is in the Navy now, a swabby)
Photography provided by a visual artist, my daughter, Caitlin O'Kendley: a young woman with a beautiful soul. (Caitlin is in college now, a media-journalism student)
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