“Socio-political international advertising slogans, ah, can be effective too. A couple of our best slogans durin the Cold War at the Washington Post aimed at the Soviets were acts of genius: ‘Better dead than red’ and the ‘Soviets are peckerheads.’ However, as our world has become smaller and more, uh, civilized and advertising more advanced one of the few anomalies left within the formula of selling a regular consumer the lesser of two evils is in politics. For instance: you might vote for someone because she or he is not as bad as the next guy but you won’t drink a soda pop for the same reason -- not unless you’re a dumb shit.”
“President Trump used to tease former Vice President Biden by wearin those spiral X-ray glasses you can buy from Marvel Comics, uh, claiming he could see right through clothes and bathroom doors? It was terrible: it wasn’t just the Biden family that was traumatized but, um, whole neighborhoods, towns, cities. As this peeping plague went viral, many people, having felt that they’d lost their privacy, stopped havin sex, so no babies were born. Schools went out of business, so did Toys R Us. Planned Parenthood debates died down for a while. Gerber’s Baby Food switched to making light beer and reduced calorie salsa for the over-fifty crowd just to survive the shocking bambino drought. Of course, once the scientific properties of x-ray glasses were exposed -- there were none -- life returned to normal.”
A carbuncle is a roiled mass of skin or a beautiful gem. The incredible gem is pictured in the logo below and at the bottom of the short story section...
Kevin O'Kendley is the owner of Carbuncle Moon, and the author of all original material -- cartoons, blogs, shorts, essays, articles -- on the website (there has been a very limited editorial input in some of my work). Quoted sources are noted. I am responsible for all posts.
Kevin O'Kendley: P.O. Box 172, Winterport, Maine, 04496, and 200 P Street, A-32, Sacramento, California, 95814, firstname.lastname@example.org.
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