Lilith, Adam's first wife, was made from the same stuff as Adam and in the image of God.
added: 4/11/19, edited 11/16/19, 11/18/19:
Reverent Elmo (a fable with a moral):
This humor short appeared in Cradle Magazine, Portland, Maine, 1996 (taken loosely from a joke in the public domain that I heard years earlier, author unknown):
He had a nose like the blade of a scythe and he sliced through life proboscis first. How he kissed his wife without putting her eye out, no one ever knew.
Reverend Elmo was a rigid, self-righteous man with a fish white beach ball head that housed two suspicious little eyes -- two awful orbs which lay dead in their sockets like fermented raisins.
During the summertime, when Elmo would clank around his yard barefoot and bareheaded with the rhythm of a beshaded tin man, school children would flock from miles around to witness the freakish spectacle. For many local children, summer smells and ice cream feelings would be forever eerily interlinked with images of Elmo.
The Rev was a no nonsense God-fearing, vulcanized orator, who preached that God was selective in his favorites. Sinners were easily identified by their job description, clothing, political beliefs, religion, race, etc. and they would all burn, someday, in the everlasting and all- consuming fires of Hell. But in the meantime, at least, Elmo preached, that these sinners shouldn’t be allowed to vote or own land.
One day, after lambasting the wicked on God’s behalf, it began to rain in Greater Portland. And it rained. And it rained some more. At some point, the deluge became a flood.
To escape the flood, Mrs. Elmo went to stay at a penthouse suite in a local hotel. While Elmo’s better half devoutly believed in God, she didn’t trust Him completely. But Elmo wouldn’t leave his riverfront home, saying only to Mrs. Elmo, “God will save me if I need Him, but you better go to the Holiday Inn. We can write it off as a business expense.”
An hour after Mrs. Elmo’s perfumed departure, the first floor of Elmo’s two-story home was flooded, and Elmo, slightly miffed, moved upstairs. “There goes the waterbed,” sighed Elmo.
As soon as the flood waters rose high enough to lap at Elmo’s gigantic feet, a neighbor rowed over to Elmo’s rooftop perch and called from his small boat, “Climb aboard Rev and save yourself.”
But true to his beliefs, Elmo steadfastly replied, “No. God will save me. Only the wicked shall down.”
When the flood waters rose chin level with Elmo’s humongous head, a man from a hovering rescue helicopter called down to Elmo by bullhorn. The stranger screamed, “We’ll drop you a line Reverend. Save yourself!”
But Elmo answered in a firm and practiced martyr’s voice, “No, God will save me.”
Shortly thereafter, bewildered and extremely irritated, Reverend Elmo drowned.
During Elmo’s spectral and expected rise to heaven, he became increasingly annoyed with God for letting him die. After an unpleasant wait in line, Elmo was finally called to bask in God’s Glorious Presence. He grouchily said to God, just as soon as he got over the tremendous shock that God looked a lot like a woman, “You know, God, I was your champion on earth, I terrified children with the images of Hell for over half a century. How could you let me drown?!”
God looked at Elmo wearily and She sighed omnipotently, “I didn’t let you drown, Elmo. I sent you a rowboat and then a helicopter, but you refused both. Hell, you could have, at least, worn a life preserver, you knucklehead!”
Please give to Breast Cancer Research Foundation: 60 East 56th Street, 8th Floor, New York, New York, 10022/ firstname.lastname@example.org/ 866-346-3228
A carbuncle is a roiled mass of skin or a beautiful gem. The incredible gem is pictured in the logo below and at the bottom of the short story section...
Kevin O'Kendley is the owner of Carbuncle Moon, and the author of all original material -- cartoons, blogs, shorts, essays, articles -- on the website (there has been a very limited editorial input in some of my work). All quoted sources are noted. I am responsible for all posts. The only blogs not time-dated are those advertising nonprofits. All nonprofits are vetted, investigated, though after the summer of 2018 my vetting has lapsed: (6/1/21).
Kevin O'Kendley: P.O. Box 172, Winterport, Maine, 04496, and 200 P Street, A-32, Sacramento, California, 95814, email@example.com.
Technical help is provided by an evolving computer genius, my son, Conor O'Kendley: A good kid with a great heart who can be reached at P.O. Box 172, Winterport, Maine, 04496. (Conor is in the Navy now, a swabby)
Photography provided by a visual artist, my daughter, Caitlin O'Kendley: a young woman with a beautiful soul. (Caitlin is in college now, a media-journalism student)
If your nonprofit is advertised on this site and you wish to have it removed please contact me at the above listed snail-mail or email address or use the contact form on the website.
If you download a blog, cartoon, a short story -- or for any other reason -- and wish to donate $ to this site, its author and technical support personnel, please send donations to above listed addresses payable to Kevin O'Kendley. My family and I could use the dinero.
All cartoons, blogs, and short stories are for sale.