THE CARBUNCLE MOON
  • Blogs & Cartoons
  • Short Stories, Book Reviews, Book Excerpts
  • Contact Kevin O'Kendley
  • Buy a T-shirt
  • Reviews of Otis Moon
  • Where to buy a copy of Otis Moon






August 10th, 2016

8/10/2016

0 Comments

 

"Carlton Shimmer was out in the wilderness -- Long Island maybe.  He got mad at a three-thousand-year-old redwood tree (apparently the tree whistled at him on a very windy day).  Anyway, Shimmer beat the tree up but it fell on him or more exactly the giant tree fell on his leg.  This proved slightly problematic for the Mawtch-Ho man but not for long!

"Luckily, Shimmer had a pair of nail clippers.  So, he cut his leg off.  But, before he accomplished this Homeric feat, he did this: he braided a sturdy rope out of nose hairs, bark, pine needles, and some fishing line he had in his pocket so as to make a tourniquet.  He then snipped off his leg -- did his toenails on his good leg and the fingernails on each hand first -- and then tied off his stump like a Knockwurst (this alerted him to the fact that he hadn’t eaten for seven days).  

"Once free to move around, Shimmer, the sage and wise Mawtch-Ho survivalist took advantage of nature’s ready abundance: 

"He dug his severed leg out from under the tree with a shovel he made from a rock, a stick, some chewing gum, and a real shovel that he found in a nearby tire dump.  It was spring, so there was still some ice in Hardezz Creek (also named by the Great Viking Johansson).  Shimmer packed his bad leg in brook ice and stored it away in a back pack he made out of seventeen squirrels he captured, using an ultrasonic knockout device that he just happened to have with him, and then skinned the critters, using a defoliant made out of moss and a can of paint thinner he found in the brook.  He removed the squirrels’ fur but left them alive.  Shimmer figured that it was spring and it was warming up nicely -- the rodents would have enough time to grow back all of their hair by the coming winter -- which I’ll admit was a thoughtful touch.  Shimmer stitched the hides together using Boston Ferns, a Robin’s nest, and some wire he also found at the tire dump. 

"He then hopped twenty miles to town on his good leg.  He beat a passing freight train to the town line, actually outran it on one leg, though it was close.  The train was only going 60 mph."   - excerpt from I Guess I'm Not A Mawtch-Ho Man by Kevin O'Kendley
​

Picture
toon posted earlier...

​
Please give to the  Natural Resources Council of Maine/3 Wade Street/ Augusta, Maine 04330/ 207-622-3101
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    A carbuncle is a roiled mass of skin or a beautiful gem.  The incredible gem is pictured in the logo below and at the bottom of the short story section...

    ​
    Picture
     Kevin O'Kendley is the owner of Carbuncle Moon, and the author of all original material -- cartoons, blogs, shorts, essays, articles -- on the website (there has been a very limited editorial input in some of my work).  Quoted sources are noted.  I am responsible for all posts.  

    ​Kevin O'Kendley: P.O. Box 172, Winterport, Maine, 04496, and 200 P Street, A-32, Sacramento, California, 95814, ksokendley@outlook.com.  


    Technical help is provided by an evolving computer genius, my son, Conor O'Kendley:  A good kid with a great heart who can be reached at P.O. Box 172, Winterport, Maine, 04496.  (Conor is in the Navy now, a swabby)

    Photography provided by a visual artist, my daughter, Caitlin O'Kendley: a young woman with a beautiful soul.  (Caitlin is in college now, a media-journalism student)

    If your nonprofit is advertised on this site and you wish to have it removed please contact me at the above listed snail-mail or email address or use the contact form on the website.

    If you download a blog, cartoon, a short story -- or for any other reason -- and wish to donate $ to this site, its author and technical support personnel, please send donations to above listed addresses payable to Kevin O'Kendley.  My family and I could use the dinero.
    All cartoons, blogs, and short stories are for sale. 

    Archives

    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Blogs & Cartoons
  • Short Stories, Book Reviews, Book Excerpts
  • Contact Kevin O'Kendley
  • Buy a T-shirt
  • Reviews of Otis Moon
  • Where to buy a copy of Otis Moon